2 Big Broncos Humor of 4x4ing
You just can't be too serious when stepping off the main highway!
Here are words of wisdom and humor found only by 4x4 owners. Enjoy the moment... it can only bring smiles and thoughts of when you've been there - done that too!
You Might Be a Bronco Lover If...
1. Your user name sounds more like a truck than a person.
2. When you think of Dana, you no longer think of a woman.
3. Your spouse accuses you of loving your Bronco more that you do her (or
him for the Bronco ladies).
4. You spend hours waiting to hear from someone called 'OX'.
5. You spend hours a day looking at emails on tires and winches and such.
6. The idea of being called '2 Big' is desirable.
7. You long for the smell of mud burning off of an exhaust pipe.
8. Your electrical problems usually involve a tailgate or a door window.
9. You work all night under an old rusty frame, getting ready for a rally.
10. You wonder if you'll ever get a 460 or a Dana 60, for that matter.
11. You strive for all the hp you can stretch out of your block, bolt on or
12. You take out a second mortgage to 'take care of a few minor
13. You know what TTB is, and desperately try to get rid of it.
14. You long for the time when Norm, Jerry, and Berne would daily wish you a good
15. You have come close to running off the road while scoping out other
Broncos you pass while driving.
16. You feel a great sense of pride when your buddy pulls up next to you in
his Cherokee which needed 3" of lift just to fit 31's, yet your truck still
towers over his with no lift. Ha! Take that, Jeeps!
17. Your idea of fun consists of replacing front wheel bearings in the
dark during a thunderstorm.
18. You've ever spent 9 hours crawling over a trail for 40 miles, to get
someplace that would take an hour if you stayed on the highway.
19. You have to replace suspension bushings anytime you take a day trip.
20. You don't think going topless is indecent exposure.
21. Even your next-door neighbor knows the ins and outs of a Bronco, even
though he drives a BMW.
22. The guys at the parts store know you by first name, and fear your
23. You have a need for Superlift super runner steering.
24. Autofab makes you drool.
25. You're sick of hearing about the apparent superiority of 1978 and 1979.
26. You dread the first bubble of tailgate rust.
27. Eating isn't as important as getting those new parts.
28. You sit at work/school drawing plans for a 4 link rear suspension
29. You're broke!
30. A 'locker' is no longer a place for keeping clothes
31. A 'rear end' is no longer a fine piece of a$$.
32. Jeep owners start the day heckling, and end the day with their mouths
open in your presence
33. You can tell when to fill your gas tank by how violently the needle is
bouncing back and forth on your gauge.
34. The acronym TTB is part of your daily vocabulary.
35. Your Bronco gets corporate discounts at your local Ford parts dept.
36. You look forward to yard work so you can drag a trailer around in the
woods behind your house.
37. You try to climb all the snow piles in the local Wal-Mart parking lot.
38. You drag your Bronco 2000 miles so that you have a parking lot with a
view to work on it.
39. You decide it'd be easier and more fun to rebuild your current bronco
than try to find a replacement.
40. You spend more time on the weekend working on the bronco than doing yard
41. Your wife doesn't ask you any longer what you are doing on Saturday
morning because she knows you'll be working on the bronco.
42. ABS doesn't relate to your stomach. It relates to your rear end.
43. You sit around for long periods of time trying to think of witty and
funny characteristics of Bronco owners to add to a list called "You might be a
Bronco owner if...."
44. Your license plate has the name "BRONCO" in it.
45. Your wife swears she will bury you in your Bronco, because "there is no way
in hell that rust bucket is staying around after your dead!"
46. You buy two more packs of cigarettes on the days you work on the
47. You plan your repairs so it does not fall during your wife's cycle.
48. You drive 10 miles out of the way home from work to see the mods on a
Bronco sitting in someone's back yard.
49. You get a ticket for stalking, from driving real slow to see the mods
on the Bronco in the back yard.
50. If you look for the right dog to MATCH the Bronco.
51. If a neighbor kid from down the street is handing you your tools.
52. If you hesitate to either put the wife's new 2000 car in the
garage or your old bronco. She then slaps ya back to reality
and you then know what you HAVE to do.
53. No matter what happens to the bronco, it can do no wrong.
54. You can talk about your 9 inch (third) member in front of friends and
nobody gets the wrong idea.
55. You just installed a 4" Lift with new springs all around, extended.
arms, new lockers, new Swampers and all... and you still look at the ads for these
products and sigh... why didn't I get the 6"....
56. You drive into the ditch looking up at a nearly shear rock/dirt hill
and think... I can climb that, no problemo... whoa!
57. You crack a U-joint off you front end and think... if I only had a Dana
58. You have maxxed out your credit cards buying stuff for your Bronco, and, rather than sending in a payment to the credit card company, you spend it on more stuff.
59. You consider yourself a Bronconian and make weird tribal dog noises when you see another Bronco drive by....
60. Your wife suggests that everyone on the list needs BA (Broncos
61. The only picture in your wallet is of your Bronco.
62. You're an aspiring writer, and you can write a scene in which one of
your characters works on his Bronco outside in a freezing windstorm -- and your
readers, including people who have never even ridden in a Bronco, believe
63. You get offended when the parts guy asks "is that full size" or "is
that four wheel drive".
64. You freak if someone mistakes your truck for a "Blazer".
65. You have a bigger picture of your bronco on your desk at work then of
66. Your favorite shirt is your Bronco Fest 2000 tee.
67. Your coffee table has a few 4-wheeling mags on it, and of course a
repair manual or two.
68. You strategically park your Bronco right in front of your work so you
can stare at her all day long.
69. I just got back from a 1 week business trip in Vegas without my Bronco.
I was more excited to see the Bronco than the girlfriend....
70. You're wife says "the bronco goes or I do" and you help her pack.
71. You cry when someone breaks into your Bronco.
72. You've been in an accident and the insurance company wants to write it
off, and you say, with total honesty "Over my dead body!"
73. Your coffee table is a chunk of glass with your stock Bronco rims for
74. You have pictures of your friends' Broncos on the walls, but none of your
75. You know the difference between a Windsor and a Cleveland.
76. LSD is something that was a Ford option which you now want to replace
with a locker, rather than something you heard people used to experiment
with a lot to get high.
77. The guys at the local junkyard know you by name and save vehicles
from going to the crusher just cause they know you might want an axle or
a piece of trim.
78. Your friends call you once a week to tell you there is a Bronco for sale
that you don't already own.
79. You have four Broncos already in the driveway and yard and for some
reason you can justify the need for the one your friend just called you
80. Your girlfriend finally tells you to buy that part you see at swap
meets cause she says that if you don't, she will never stop fussing about
the "great deal on a _____" that you passed up. (bonus if she recognizes
the value as you do)
81. Your girlfriend is constantly mad at you, cause you have your bronco on
your mind and are dreaming about it more than her...
82. People are not allowed to wear any type of footwear inside of your
Bronco, cause it may ruin the new custom carpet.
83. You plead with the boss to find room in the body shop to put your Bronco
so you can work on it during your lunch hour.
84. As you work on your D60... Guys at work look at you funny and ask "why
are you putting a 1 ton front rear under your EB?"
85. You buy your wife a 73 Bronco so you get to play with your Bronco and all
you do is work on her Bronco AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Composed by Jim Westcot, Savannah, GA
Members from BigBroncos.com site - http://www.bigbroncos.com/
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